July 12 Don't Listen to Your wife!

  

July 12

Don’t Listen to Your Wife

Ge 2:17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it:

Don’t listen to your wife? What! That sounds like a recipe for disaster. A man that has been married for a while has learned that ignoring his wife is bad advice. No, it’s worse than just bad advice, it is terrible advice. Don’t even go there.

          Then why the title “Don’t Listen to Your Wife”? The answer is because it is such an important, essential truth for both men and women to learn. How can it be terrible advice and an essential truth at the same time? Some examples may help us unravel this seeming contradiction.

          In Genesis God gave Adam some instructions.

Ge 2:17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it:

for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. 

          Where was Eve when that commandment was given? The next verse answers that question.

Ge 2:18 ¶ And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;

 I will make him an help meet for him.

Eve wasn’t there because she doesn’t arrive on the scene until verse 21. It seems likely that Adam told her about not eating from the forbidden tree. He may have emphasized the warning by telling her to not even touch it. That was what she understood God had said when she answered the serpent.

Ge 3:3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

  "You won't die!" was all she needed to hear. 

Ge 3:6 ¶ And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

 We know the events. The serpent lied to her, she believed the serpent, ignoring what Adam had told her and ate the forbidden fruit.

The New Testament brands them both as transgressors.  In Romans 5:14 “…Adams Transgression…” and in 1st Timothy we find,

1Ti 2:14 And Adam was not deceived,

but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

If Adam was not deceived why did he eat of the fruit?

Gen 3:6…she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

“Adam, this fruit is really good. You should take a bite.”

“Yes dear” and with that he listened to his wife instead of what God had told him.  He should not have listened to his wife.

In Genesis 16 we find another time a man should not have listened to his wife. In the previous chapter Abram was concerned he did not have a son to inherit the wealth. So in chapter 16 we find his wife Sarah has figured out a solution.

Ge 16:2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid;

 it may be that I may obtain children by her. …

Hind sight is 20/20.  It was a bad idea. In Genesis 15:4 Abram had been told by God that he (Abram) would father an heir to his estate, but how that was to be done was not revealed until chapter 21. Meanwhile Abram decided to listen to what his wife had said. 

Gen 16:2….And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

14 years later Sarai gave birth to Isaac, the Son God wanted to bless. It is a sad story to see Abraham sending the bondwoman and his 14 year old son away into the wilderness.

          The final portion of scripture we will consider is of a righteous man who refused to listen to his wife. Her advice to her husband was

Job 2:9 Then said his wife unto him,

Dost thou still retain thine integrity? 

curse God, and die.

Job did not listen to his wife. Instead he explained why her advice was short sighted and narrowly focused. We shouldn’t be too hard on his wife. All ten of her children had died in a windstorm, her wealthy husband was now broke, and they had lost standing in the community. Perhaps she reasoned if Job cursed God he would be killed and put out of his misery.

What is the lesson for us today? In spite of the title men should listen to their wives. Wives are a source of blessing.

Pr 18:22 ¶ Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing,

 and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Are their times when men should not listen to their wife? Yes. Three circumstances come to mind when a man should not listen to his wife.

         First, Obviously if a wife advises anything that is contrary to scripture or would compromise the integrity of the family the husband has an obligation to explain why he cannot, will not, do what she wants him to do.

      Secondly, when a man senses God wants him to do something and the wife is opposed. Here the opposition of the wife is a warning sign. Usually when God calls a man He also calls the wife, as when couples both feel the call to the mission field. That doesn’t mean if the wife opposes something the husband feels called to do that he should ignore her. It just means he needs to redouble his efforts to determine if what he feels is really a calling from the Lord and/or he should wait for God to speak to him or his wife. 

Lastly a man may be going through the fires of affliction; health, wealth, integrity, whatever,  may be under attack.  The wife in an effort to end the affliction may give what she thinks is good advice. She may not realize that when God puts a person in the furnace of affliction he provides grace to endure. But the wife does not get grace for the trials of her husband. Such was the case with Job’s wife. In those situations we should remember how Job understood his situation. He saw the hand of God working. He didn’t know why or to what end but his faith never wavered.  

   The meditation for today is for men to realize their wives are a blessing and were given as a help mate. Women should recognize that when men are under affliction that God will care for them, provide them grace for the burden, and teach them how to be the spiritual leader of the house. Job had it just right. We should meditate on his marvelous response to affliction.

Job 23:10 But he knoweth 

the way that I take:

when he hath tried me,

I shall come forth as gold.

O Rejoice in the LORD
He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried
And purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

---Words and music by Ron Hamilton