May 9 The movie of Me!

May 9

The Movie of Me

1Th 5:21 Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.

The attractive receptionist was revealing more than she realized. There was no reason for me to mention it to her and cause her embarrassment.

The form I had just filled out had a line that requested marital status i.e. single, divorced etc.  I had written “happy” and handed the completed form to the receptionist. She glanced over the form, smiled and said. “Oh, you must be divorced!”

As I said she revealed more about herself than she had learned about me. My guess is she interpreted the word “happy” as divorced because she was divorced, and was now happy compared to when she was married.

It is not unusual for people to respond to another person based upon their own life experiences. When college students are shown a picture of several people on a subway train they are asked to write about the people. As you can imagine, the stories are reflections of the writers own life and experiences.

I think the psychological term is transference, but I like to call it playing their life movie onto me. If a person is dishonest, or angry, or timid, or greedy, etc etc,  they assume I am also. My truthful answer to a newspaper reporter was not what she wanted to hear so she accused me of lying.  A man wrongly accused me of an unethical decision he said I had made, because that was what he would have done. There is an abundance of examples of people assuming other people behave like they do.

They use themselves as the standard by which everyone is evaluated. They do not trouble themselves with finding the truth, but based upon their standards (themselves) they declare another as liar, thief, gossip, greedy etc. In so doing they reveal their own ethics and play their life history onto others.

 

Ro 2:1 ¶ Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man,

whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself;

for thou that judgest doest the same things.

This verse is often taken out of context and applied to anyone who sees evil and speaks against it. The first word of this verse is “Therefore” which means it is a conclusion based upon a previous argument. That requires a look at Romans chapter one where Paul lists  sins that range from murder to talking behind someone’s back. Then in Chapter 2:1 he admonishes those people not to judge.

It is wrong to judge others. But we are required to be discerning. These two seemingly opposing principles cause confusion unless both are understood correctly.

1Th 5:21 Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.

This verse is part of a sentence that starts in verse 17 and ends in verse 23. It starts with “Pray without ceasing …” and ends with “…your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” The verses in between give the method by which prayer and good decision making will result in being blameless. (not sinless).

Selecting items in the produce section of a super market requires discernment. Is this item too green or too ripe? Is this head of lettuce firm? Do the berries look too mushy? Knowledge and experience help us select the best produce and avoid the bad. That is exactly what discernment does for us in life choices. And just as selecting produce requires knowledge and experience so does discernment. Here the knowledge comes from the word of God. The experience is gained by applying Biblical truths to life situations.

Experienced shoppers can easily identify and avoid bad produce. The Christian who is experienced in Biblical discernment easily identifies that which is contrary to Biblical ethics. So where is the problem?

The problem occurs when a discerning Christian identifies some “bad fruit” that another Christian does not want to admit exists. Biblical discernment is based on such clear Biblical teachings that it is impossible for the less discerning Christian to avoid being convicted. The only response is to claim they are being judged and Romans says we should not do that. So that makes the discerning Christian’s comments invalid.

“Your judging me. You have no right to do that.”  That response helps stifle feelings of conviction so self-deception permits the person to continue to ignore simple Biblical truths.

It takes great wisdom to discern when there is some spiritual lack of maturity in our brothers and sisters. It requires wisdom and meekness to approach them about their spiritual needs, and do so in a non judgemental way.  But the scriptures require we do so.

Ga 6:1 ¶ Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault,

ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

2Ti 2:25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;   

(Also Rom 14:1, 15:1, 2 Cor 2:15, 2 Thes 3:15, Jam 5:19)

 Before any of us try to help a brother or sister in the Lord, we need to have our own ducks in a row! When you see a lack in another the first question should be, do I also have that fault and is this the way the Holy Spirit is bringing it to my mind, because I am sensitive about this. Here is where the old Negro Spiritual needs to run through our minds.

          “Not my brother, not my sister,

    but it’s me O Lord,

    standing in the need of prayer!

Pr 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend;

but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.